Location: Ottawa, Canada
Originally from: Chaguanas, Trinidad
Contact: fleann@gmail.com
Title of Work(s): "Haunted", "For all my womanhood is not yet satisfied", "Defeated", "Why", "To be me with you"

More from Leanna-Marie...
I moved around Trinidad alot when I was younger and spent a few years living in Washington D.C, from the ages of 3 to 6.

I've lived in Chaguanas for the last 13 years, and I must say, I absolutely love the diversity of the people from Central Trinidad. Contrary to popular belief, "anywhere before the Light House is NOT bush, and anywhere after GRAND BAZAR is NOT BUSH".

After exams, I took a year off from school, worked and then took some more academic courses. Later, I decided to further my studies further in Canada. I completed one year of College before I started University. Presently, I attend Carelton University in Ottawa, majoring in Criminology and Social Justice.

I have always been an odd child. Although many who know me might disagree with that, I am sure they would agree that I was intellectually mature for my age when I was growing up.

I am facinated with books and writing, however, it was only when I entered Secondary school and did English and English Literature that my imagination developed.

I have no formal training in writing, so i would describe my style as more freestyle than anything else.

My writing is often inspired by my emotional experiences or random thoughts. Sometimes, I just let it flow, freestlye.

Leanna-Marie's advice to young artists...
I would say to those who would love to get into any type of writing to write because you WANT to and not because you HAVE to. Learn to take critcisms and love what you do. If you are really determined to make it, put your self out there. _________________________________________________________________

Her Face

Darkness falls 
The earth grows lively 
I hear the sound of the crickets 
As they bask in the glow of the moon 
I see the fruit bats 
Swoop down and pick at 
the ripened fruit of 
the mango trees 
I see the leaves glisten 
with dew 
I See her face 
on the clouds that 
grace the night sky 
Looking at me as if to say 
darkness falls, but not 
for me!

I awoke and I saw

I gave you my heart and was prepared to give you so much more
Then you got crazy, things got muddled and you ceased to care anymore
Now it took me a while to sort through this mess, to see through the smoke and to learn
I deserved the best

I ran through all the emotions, I even blamed myself
Till I took a break and stepped out of myself

I saw first hand how much pain I was in
I swore up and down never me and especially not him again

I realized that there is more out there for me, and seeing as he never cared, I was actually free
He took up so much of my time and so much of my love
That the world passed on by and I was stuck for a long moment somewhere in someplace that was devoid of colour, life and nameless; an abyss

I thought long and hard and it suddenly did make sense
I work up one morning no longer incensed
Feeling delirious, feeling light, feeling free

It was safe to say four years of nothingness finally left me

Time and tide has changed, I am no longer available to him, especially in the ways he wants me to be
Then mind of the male is a funny thing
They want only what they cannot have, typical of the" fox and the sour grapes"

Four years of nothingness, and now he pursues like a shark
Him with renewed vigor, me I just step aside
To late to late shall be the cry
To late for him, it's just to late for this guy.

Haunted

Everywhere I turn, there is a presence 
not of some celestial being or phantasm 
OH! How I wish it were 
It would have made this feeling, much easier 
I'm haunted by his cologne, lingering 
In hallways, on clothes, on sheets 
On me! 
I'm haunted by his playful laugh 
By his forceful kisses 
His soft touch, by every inch of his being 
It's enough to drive the sane, insane 
The mad, madder 
I'm haunted by this infernal emptiness 
Haunted by his leaving 
By my eternal conflicting thoughts and emotions 
By my over analyzing of the way things were and how they have become 
I'm relieved now, of course 
That I could enjoy the haunting of more pleasant memories 
The better gifts from my poltergeist.

For all my womanhood is not yet satisfied

There are so many things that I have had to process 
Even though everything may be as plain as day 
I have grown to want him more and more 
To need him, to yearn for him such a feeling only known once 
I feel that had things been different we would well BE! 
I crave him, I'm wild with wanton lust and desire 
My being is unsettled 
Their is no way to make these feeling go away 
It's either I tame them or permit them to roam free 
My body feels him calling. it craves for his sweet kisses 
His, lips against the nape of my neck 
His hands caressing the small of my back... 
His whole being my body craves 
His whole being...my body wants 
Such sweet nectar that has graced my lips 
Creating this fire that is eternally burning from within 
No water can quench it. 
For it needs only that which he can give me to be satisfied 
I am left with this want. that cannot be filled 
Until we are in such a place and time 
When our two bodies are permitted to dance 
My womanhood will not be satisfied

Defeated

I stare at your picture 
while running my fingers over the rim of the wine glass 
Snippets of OUR song permeates my consciousness 
It's time I let you go 
The decision is hard 
Even to your face I put up a front 
Even in attempts to act relieved 
I am forever betrayed by emotions  
that I am desperate to coax into submission 
I am resigned to staring at your picture 
and running my fingers over the rim of the wine glass

Why

Why do I love you so 
when every bit of logic says NO! 
Why do I love you so 
when reason gives way to impossibility 
Why do I love you so 
when advisors advise me against it! 
I listen to my heart 
It takes me to you 
IT takes me to you

To be ME with you

I re-new and strengthen my resolve to be ME with you
Not the ME I change myself into for you
Not the ME who falls for you at whim
But the ME who knows you inside out
The me who knows you can't ever change..maybe not now anyways
The me who wishes that time has stood still to freeze the memories of what had been
The me that wonder time and time again that you never talk to me so I could learn to live
The me that wants so many things but in the end confused and tired I want really nothing
It's always amazing how I go back and forth
How I make things seem like they are huge and I can't control
It's funny how I am over you yet you somehow seem to drudge up feelings
Sometimes never the good sort
I feel contempt, resentment loathing, ..other times I feel nothing at all
Like a swirling vortex has swallowed up everything..and laid bare your traitorous soul
It took me a great deal of patience a great deal of time a great deal of introspection
A great deal of inner trust, to bury you where you belong in a past where I dare not venture to
In a past filled of neatly organized boxes and capsules of thing I need not remember and things I need never forget and things that just serve no purpose in the present are confined to that space
Maybe once and for all I can see you for what you are make peace with who you have become and pray that you realize for your future..
But that wishful thinking only exists in maybes..i can no more direct your path that I could your heart, mind, body and soul..
I re-new and strengthen my resolve to be ME with you
Not the ME I change myself into for you
Not the ME who falls for you at whim
But the ME who knows you inside out
The me who knows you can't ever change..maybe not now anyways
The me who wishes that time had stood still to freeze the memories of what had been
The me that wonder time and time again that you never talk to me so I could learn to live
The me that wants so many things but in the end confused and tired I want really nothing

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